Fine "Guidos" Dining and Circumcisions

I feel bad right now. For the first time ever, I have left a restaurant having, more or less, not tipped the waiter- unless you call a 39 cent tip a "tip". Let me explain: This bastard waiter at Guido's Pizza in Cool Springs, after bringing Allie and I are initial drinks, completely ignored us for the rest of the night. I spent half of my meal with an empty drink and then had to wait an additional fifteen minutes for him to come by to give us our check. I was nearly to the point of getting up and walking out because of the frustration. It also doesn't help when you see the only other waiter coming to his tables dozens of times throughout your meal, yet you NEVER see your waiter. The crazy thing is that I feel bad about what I did...I hurried out of that restaurant like there was no midnight....even to the point of sacrificing leftover spaghetti that Allie left on the table. As we walked out, Allie said, "Shoot, we forgot the to-go box." "Dammit Allie! Now we can't go back and get it. He's read the note and seen the tip by now. Just leave it."

You might have noticed that I used the word "note". This is because, yes, I did leave our boy a note.

Total=$16.71
Amount Left=$17.00
Note= "We are both servers (I fudged a bit on my part). If you would actually serve your customers, you would make good tips. Thanks for the refill by the way."

As we got into our car, minus said to-go box, I waited for a bit, sneakily watching through the restaurant window. I needed to see his reaction to the advice and the 39 cents. Although I never did see him, I think he learned his lesson. I thinks it is sometimes a chain reaction when a server sees younger people sit down. He probably thinks, "Damn, kids. They won't tip. I will just ignore them and do my side work." We think, "Damn. This waiter hasn't waited on us at all. We won't tip him." ...It just keeps going on and on like this with every table. Someone stop the chain! Stop it, man!

The sad thing is that because of our terrible meal and serving, Allie and I deduced that this white Cool Springs boy is a product of his rich parents and has never worked more than a four hour shift in his life. He also has no work ethic and is a bastard. In actuality, he probably found out that a grandparent had just died and spent the duration of our meal in the back crying. We will never know the truth. Yet, as always, I left feeling like I was the bad one.



On a lighter note, I received my cirumcision form from Kel from when I was a baby. Did anyone notice that next to length, it said 20 and a half. Yes, I'm big. Probably the biggest one in three counties.

The Office

Speaking of getting emotional (see previous post), anyone see the Office's "Pam-Jim" montage-preview on NBC? How do we get so connected to these characters almost to the point of tears. ...Can't wait for Season 3.

5 Most Special Movies

My five...in no particular order. These are the five that first came to my mind. Maybe not my favorites.

1. Good Will Hunting (If only for the takedown in the bar; "Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?)

2. Contact ("In time, you'll make another move. Small moves, Elle")

3. Back to the Future ("I'd like to get that in writing." 'Yeah, me too.')

4. Shawshank Redemption ("There's a river of dirty money flowing through this place")

5. Rocky IV ("Adrian always tells the truth. Maybe I can't beat him. Maybe, I can take everything he has."


Your turn. Don't diss me for Rocky IV. Anyone that doesn't get emotional watching that movie deserves to have pee placed on their head.

Snapshots

I thought it would be fun to, every month or so, update my current media interests. It would be nice if everyone reading this would post a comment with their current interests also. Here are mine.

"Song Stuck In Your Head": "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room", John Mayer

"Favorite Recently Read Book" "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince", J. K. Rowling

"Favorite TV Show of the Year"(Tie) "Project Runway" & "The Office", Bravo and NBC, respectively

"Most Repeated Movie Watches of the Year" "Rounders", Matt Damon, Edward Norton

"Favorite Take-Down Line" "Tell someone, 'You have something in your nose'...then immediately walk away."

"Looking Forward To" "Nintendo Wii and new Zelda"

"Last returned item" "Digital Camera returned after rented for Disney World vacation"


...Now your turn.

Song of the Month

Check out "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" off of John Mayer's new album, "Continuum". This is one of the best songs I've heard in a long time. Reminds me of everything that I like in music...very beautiful.

Of course, my new song, "Pave the Way" is much better. This song just rocks. No one is gonna tell me that they don't like it...no matter what music they like.

Pimp

Once upon a time, Kel and I were forced to leave a movie theatre because some Chinese punk was practicing ghost punches..eventually intended for our faces. Click the link below and you will see what our Chinese friend ended up doing to a pimp. That could have been us!

http://ebaumsworld.com/2006/07/karatechop.html

Kingda Ka

When Kel and I boarded the coaster for Top Thrill Dragster (scared as balls can be), we thought we were about to ride the highest, fastest, and scariest ride available. Unfortunately, it seems that Six Flag's "Great Adventure" is thirty feet higher and 8 mph faster. As Karate Kid's nemesis says, "Second place is no place." It looks like we'll have to plan a trip soon to scale this new unchartered mammoth. I'm thinking four people this time. Allison, me, ...and any two other people.....or four if we can get. Maybe J, A, K, M.....or J,A,Ma,A.....or J, A, M, K....J, A, H, K ......I'd even love to get mom and Damon on this son of a beast. What do you guys think?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingda_Ka

Three Disney Pics

The third picture was stolen via "digital picture of tv screen." I ain't paying $15 for a picture!

Donkey Buttocks

If this guitar could talk, it would say go to Jeff's Myspace and hear his two new opposite sounding songs. (See link)


Poker night was pretty much a success. I'd like to do it once a month...maybe a different game every month.

More Disney Photos

The spacecraft from "Flight of the Navigator" (How cool is that!)

The motorcycles from Indiana Jones

Jeff posing for picture at "Sci-Fi Cafe"

Me in front of "Thunder River"

Allie inside the "Pirates of the Carribean" ride.

Disney World

We decided to go at 10:00 in the morning, Monday; by 5:45 P:M, we were on a plane.
Mickey Mizouse

"Thunder Mountain Railroad"

"Sci-Fi Cafe" (Lunch at MGM Studios)

Allie next to barrell

First Part Of "The Haunted Mansion" ride.

Rocky

Do you guys have any idea how excited I am about this movie!!!? I will be at the theater opening day, December 22nd.

Miscellaneous

I have a few things to talk about today.

First off, "Gun" is one of the best games I've played in a long time. I don't remember the last time that I sat for five hours straight playing a game. If you haven't played this, get it...it rocks!

Second, doesn't this Middle East war stuff suck!? It is really getting scary. It seems that every day I turn on the tv, something else has happened; katrina, forest fires, Iraq, Israel and Lebanon, etc. I don't even want to turn on the tv anymore.

Speaking of not wanting to turn the tv on, here are my new favorite shows:

1. "Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List" (BRAVO) ...this woman is hilarious
2."Project Runway"; call me gay because this focuses on clothing designers, but the show is strangely addictive. It's refreshing to watch a reality show based on talent. Really good show.
3." Family Guy"; I've known about this show for a while. If you haven't seen it yet, watch it. Funniest cartoon ever, it is.
4. "Something Chef": I can't think of the full name.....but this show is really good too.

Anyone see the new 2007 Toyota Yaris? These things are nice...and cheap! Invoice is just over $11,000. I might be checking these out more.

"Fun with Dick and Jane" sucked! I couldn't believe Kel when he said it, but come on!!! Sucks!

Kel, Matt, you wanna go see "You, Me, and Dupree" Wednesday afternoon? Looks pretty funny.

Just Our Luck

The above photo is probably the last pleasant moment of our short lived camping trip. This trip (Today is Thursday) has taken so many strange turns. It originally started as a camping trip filled with hiking, reading, and fire building. That lasted for about two hours until the rain came. I guess I made the tent wrong because we were soaked while trying to sleep for the entire night. Like this wasn't enough, later into the night, Allie and I woke up to a huge light going back and forth in our area, as if someone was searching our site. This is not something you want to wake up to at 1 in the morning. It turns out that someone just had an extremely powerful flashlight and it kept sweeping our campground. The next morning, instead of hiking on soaked soil, we decided to go into Helen, a local town, to spend the day. Being utterly exhausted from lack of sleep the previous night, we decided that we should just check into a quaint hotel for the night and come back to the tent the next day. Maybe this was a waste of money, but you have to remember that we had no sleep and spent the entire night wet. You would think that this would have been a good idea. Unfortunately, this was not the case. See picture of said hotel.....




...disgusting.....disgusting. I personally enjoyed the red carpet, the terrible entertainment center, and the outdoor white table disguised as a dinner table. You should have seen the bathroom. The next morning as we headed back to the campground- by the way, it poured that night too- we got to our tent...and felt really depressed. Although neither would admit it, we both wanted to leave.

Two hours from home, as I became more and more completely lost on backroads, I made one last try for "happiness"....looks like I'll be doing this twice in the next month or so with brother, Kel.




...I'll let you know tomorrow, when we go, if it rains or not. That would seal the day if it did.

Best "Just Kidding" Ever!

The other day, while buying a few more supplies from Walmart for the camping trip, something strange happened. I went to the cashier to pay; she bagged our items (slowly) and I reached into my wallet to pay. Afterwards, she handed the two bags to me and, what I realized a few minutes later, one additional bag. I can only assume that somebody returned a few small miscellaneous items and the cashier accidentally gave me that bag of items. As we walked to my car, I realized I had an extra bag. As I looked into the bag, discretely, I found two pairs of 3 year old sized shoes, some dishwashing detergent, and some colored thread for needle work. The fact that all these items were so random gave me and idea....a wonderful idea! I thought to myself, "Hey man, Allie doesn't know about this. How often have any of us been given an extra bag of stuff we didn't purchase? Probably, never." Ding Ding Ding...a light bulb's silhouette comes over my head.
Casually, as we get into the car, I say, "Now don't get mad at what I'm about to tell you."
"What?", she says curiously.
"I don't think I've ever done this with you around, but I honestly believe that you need to do things like this to keep your body and your "rush" alive and well."
"What did you do?", she once again asks.
"You promise not to get mad?" (I've learned that stretching things like this out make for a much more dramatic climax.)
"Sometimes, when I go to places like this, I take things."
"....You're joking.", she hesitantly says.
"No I'm not. It's not like I'm trying to profit from it. I take random cheap things that don't matter to me. It's not a greed thing."
"....Yeah right, Jeff."
"Fine, look in the bag.", I say as I desperately try to hold back a smile.
She looks into the third bag and gasps. Instead of saying anything, she just stares at me with a "I can't believe you just did that" sort of expression.
"Allie, you have to do things like this!! It keeps you young! Do you really thing I want little kid's shoes and thread? I just grab random things for a rush. Don't get mad!"
As we pull out of the parking lot, Allie, with a very angry expression, jolts open the passenger door and begins to throw out the Walmart bag.

"...Wait...Wait...Wait!! I'm just kidding!"

I enjoyed this prank just about more than anything I've ever done. What a perfect setup.

Rest In Peace

This photo, taken in the 1940s (color later add), is the last remaining photo of Jeffrey Way and Allison Peterson. In a freak car accident one Sunday evening on their way home from "Family Bingo Night" at the local Baptist church, Jeffrey found himself minus a thigh. Allison, on the other hand, managed to use Jeff as her shield, thus avoiding all harm in the wreck. There has been speculation that her ear wax problem flared up shortly afterwards. To add further dismay to an already terrible story, Jeffrey, in what seemed to be a "fluke" accident, stabbed Allison with that which remained of his lower thigh: a protruding bone. Although Allie fought for her life, it seemed that her fate was sealed. Jeffrey, unable to live his current life any further...... .....moved to Mexico where he lived the rest of his days writing songs of a more morbid nature and eventually widdling prosthetic thighs for a living. At the end of each evening, as all the townspeople returned to their homes, Jeffrey would quietly, yet efficiently, enjoy the "fruit off the tree."



Allison's Note, later added: "I would like to add that, these are not the actual events that took place. There was indeed a wreck. A plane wreck. Allison and Jeffrey were flying to an undisclosed location when a bird flew into the plane's propellor causing the plane to crash. Jeffrey was knocked unconscious for days. Allie, on the other hand, handled the wreck like a real lady. You see, she takes her vitamin supplements daily allowing her to have landed unscathed. The earwax also encased her as a protective barrier. While awaiting for Jeff to come to over those many hours, she grew hungry. There was no food anywhere to be seen and rescuers would not arrive for a long time she knew. Sooooo. Yes...cannibalism. Yet, something was terribly disturbing about munching on one's own toes. Allison knew that Jeffrey would sacrifice anything for his beloved. All that was left of his upper left thigh after her brunch was a protruding bone. It was tough. Not the events...but the meat. She was able to keep warm. Jeffrey doesn't wipe, so she used all the extra toilet paper, found in the cargo space, to wrap herself up for warmth. When her love awoke and saw a full, satisfied girlfriend, he went mad. Allison tried to plead for her life and offer some leftovers of his own toe she managed to save in some tupperware. Jeffrey stabbed Allie with his bone. Shortly after, they were rescued and fully recovered. The relationship did not recover. Jeff found a nice prosthetic thigh that always seemed to be a problem during summer, around small dogs, and with the ladies. He is living in an undisclosed small town widdling fancy legs and songwriting. Allie moved to Mexico where she continues to enjoy the "fruit off the tree." ...and an occasional leg-o-man.

Everyone Once in a While, Someone Needs a Whopper

www.myspace.com/thegiants ...Listen to "Mama's Room". If you don't love this song, you deserve to be shot by my BB Gun.

I'm currently reading "Rich Dad's Prophecy" about how the biggest stock market and economy crash will happen in the next ten years; ...not sure what I think about this yet. I'm not a big fan of the books that instill fear in people while simultaneously profiting off of them. For now, it is just curious reading for me.

Guitar Center is no longer selling Elixir guitar strings...RASH!! They are trying to upsell these D'Adario (sp?) to compensate, but those just suck! Do not buy them.

I Will Kill You

Yesterday, Allie and I decided to go to Walmart in order to prep for the camping trip -a week away still- but it's fun to prepare for this stuff. I find I enjoy prepping more than I do the actual event...similar to attending a screening of "Beloved" for the simple purposes of being there, having coke and popcorn (courtesy of brother, Kel), and viewing the previews. As we were shopping, I imagined a bad guy coming after the girlfriend and me. Now Chuck and Richard (biceps left and right, respectively) are pretty strong and can do some serious damage, but just in case, I bought a BB Gun for protection. When previously mentioned robbing bastard comes after us, I will be able to raise my BB Gun at him and slowly turn it sideways, ala American History X guy, and say, "I don't think so, man. I have a gun."

On a different note, I'm thinking of taking a break from music. I get so sick of listening to wannabe musicians talk about how music should be. How talented or untalented they are is completely beside the point. I'm sure some of these people are far beyond me, but why do they have to let every single person in the world know that they are "musicians". It is really irritating to me. "Music is an art that should be expressed fluidly via throat and finger cooperation." !!! I actually hear and read this garbage. It is so nice to come across somebody's Myspace page that says, "Listen, I hope you like it. Thanks." That is so much more appealing than some loser band describing the "vehicle" that allowed them to become so deep into the music. And they always want to describe themselves in third person for some strange reason. When we look at the bottom of the page and it say, "Unsigned", I am going to assume that you yourself are writing your bio. ...I'm beginning to realize that I sound like Michael Savage (not Fred's brother), but that stuff really gets to me. In all honesty, it makes me want to persue something entirely different, like finance. The lifestyle just isn't for me...staying up till morning drinking and "getting into the music" building bonfires, sitting in unbelievable debt, trashing "this administration" as they live off undocumented tips (I do this too, but I at least appreciate that I don't receive much say as a result, and referring to jam sessions as "gigs"....and the sun shining on my face...

Milk Allergies For You and Me

An allergy is caused when an allergen (for a list of other common allergens click here) enters our body system. The symptoms of a milk protein allergy fall into 3 types of reactions:

Skin Reactions:
Itchy red rash
Hives
Eczema
Swelling of lips, mouth, tongue, face or throat
Allergic "Shiners" (black eyes)

Plus, I notice that after I have a milk shake or something similar to that, I feel really sick for about fifteen minutes. Do you notice that too, Kel?


Check out My Myspace for my new song: "Just Another Game". It's fun for the whole family.

On a side not, "Cars" is worth seeing for the simple fact that it is the most beautiful digital movie I've ever seen.

I Don't Have Much to Say

Cars was a really good movie; maybe a bit long for the younger kids and it is a bit on the adult themed side, but still very good. Quite funny too.

The Omen is the funniest and scariest movie I've seen in the last few months. If you go see it, pay close attention to everything Damien does. That kid is hilarious.

Zachary has thought up some hilarious jokes. Here are two redneck jokes:

"You might be a redneck if you find poop on your floor...and you spank yourself."

...pretty funny for a 6 year old.

This might be my favorite because I have no idea what it means:

"You might be a redneck if you think a popsicle is a hidden message."

-k bye